Useless Things People Say

Useless Things People Say

There are a lot of things in my world that confuse me. Some, of course, are more important (and, therefore, more confusing) than others. The purpose of this blog is to give me a forum in which I can explore some of these confusing aspects of life from my point of view. There are a number of reasons I’m putting this out on the Internet in this form. I’m hoping I’m not the only one who reads this and at least one or two others will feel strongly enough, whether in agreement or disagreement, to comment on my rants. Also, I can annoy everyone at one time instead of having to do it one person at a time. No one can interrupt me while I’m going on about something and no one can derail my thought process by interrupting me. (I derail very easily.) I don’t have to talk about something if I find the topic boring. (This is starting to sound like a Jackie Mason routine on why he prefers to talk to himself.)

Sometimes, my entries will be written with the hope of entertaining or even causing you to smile. Other times, they will be more serious and written with the hope of making you think and question.

This first entry is about something I admit is totally unimportant and just a personal peeve of mine.

People will often say things that are totally useless or completely unhelpful. The other day, I bumped into something and my wife said, “Be careful!” A little late for that. Or, if someone trips over something, someone else will invariably yell, “Watch out!” Thank you for the advice but a minute or two earlier would have been more helpful.

Then, there are the statements people make that are just flat out annoying. A few weeks ago, my wife and I went to an “oldies” concert. The lead singer of one of the groups ended his introduction to the next song with, “And it goes something like this.” If he’s not sure how it goes, why is he singing it? If he really wants to sing it, why didn’t he rehearse it more so he knows exactly how it goes?

And then there are those who know they’re about to say something obvious but feel a need to say it anyway. They even announce the fact they’re going to say something you don’t need to hear by starting with, “Needless to say, ...”. The equally nonsensical companion to that is, “It goes without saying ...”. I wish it did but you know it’s going to be said anyway.

Another “favorite” of mine is people who will say something useless you and everyone else know isn’t true. For example, they’ll tell you something they know is hurtful by first saying, “I hate to be the one to tell you this, but...” You can tell they don’t really hate saying it by the smile on their face. Well, maybe that phrase isn’t totally useless. When you hear it, you know that person is about to say something you really don’t want to hear. You can prepare yourself for it or even avoid it completely by smacking them in the mouth before they have the chance to say it. Your defense could be, “I did it for your own good. I didn’t want you to have to say something you hate saying. Now, needless to say, you’re not going to say it.”

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